What to learn from Lisa Kudrow’s character Phoebe Buffay.

Phoebe Buffay may have appeared to be the quirky sidekick on “Friends,” but she was the most grounded member of the sixsome all along.


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During Friends’ 10 seasons, viewers learned that Phoebe’s mother died by suicide. They also learned that who she thought was her mother, wasn’t her biological mother, and that her father abandoned her and her twin when they were babies. Phoebe also mentioned that her stepfather was sent to prison and that she never saw him again.

Phoebe’s tragic upbringing didn’t end with the death of her mother. Her years spent on the streets were ridiculously traumatic, too. She once told the group that her best friend died after being struck by lightning. A window washer she lived with also died by suicide. How she used to mug people for a living. Finally, she revealed, she spent her 16th birthday being chased by an “escaped mental patient” who wanted to kill her. Pheobe’s mostly upbeat attitude would indicate she made it past all of the hard things in life and persevered, but every so often, she allowed that façade to slip, and fans could see how deeply affected she was by her upbringing. When she returned to the charity that she and Mike had donated to, she certainly lost her cool while recounting her childhood. 

After learning so much of her past one can only imagine the level of trauma she has gone through. In today's time when people just give up the moment they face a problem or has to go through hard ship , Phoebe Buffay's character shows how to live in the moment and appreciate what you have now. Never hold your past with you. She taught us to love unconditionally and always be there for others. Remember when she agreed to be her brother's surrogate in a heart beat "I will be giving them the greatest gift" " just look how happy they are". 

We all should learn to look at world the way she does. Phoebe emerges as the least hyperbolic, most nuanced and ahead-of-her-time character.


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